Your tits are I can't wait for
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Drake has all the answers
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
