Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
