5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
