How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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