I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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