I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize