this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.