How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize