no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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