You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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