a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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