I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
