and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
