i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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