Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
