Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
