Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
