Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
