Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
