What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
