So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
