So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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