ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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