I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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