Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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