90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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