forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
