i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
