i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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