go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The best revenge is premature balding
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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