Screwed.edu
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
