Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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