I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
