I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
