And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
