He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We need to rekindle our bromance
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
