can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
