He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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