Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
