so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
