please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize