Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
