there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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