So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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