I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The maid of honor just puked.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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