i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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