So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
