two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
