You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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