Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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