I just threw up on my dentist
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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