Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
