I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She said her name was "party"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
