About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
