can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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