Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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(818): I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/79dr

Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (1765)
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(951): View more from California

Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.

(951): View more from California

Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.

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(951): Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night. (951): Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended. http://tfl.nu/dcrw

Replies (24) Good night (1470) Bad night (2374)
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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe

Replies (10) Good night (3602) Bad night (591)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding

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(931): don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding http://tfl.nu/47j9

Replies (10) Good night (5658) Bad night (1059)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj

Replies (50) Good night (48118) Bad night (1377)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it's a girl!!

(614): View more from Ohio

That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years

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(412): it's a girl!! (614): That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years http://tfl.nu/ln73

Replies (30) Good night (6535) Bad night (1367)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house

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(218): Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house http://tfl.nu/lsbu

Replies (17) Good night (4888) Bad night (792)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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(306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq

Replies (23) Good night (3788) Bad night (708)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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(773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l

Replies (5) Good night (4221) Bad night (721)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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(413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s

Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (3398)
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(614): View more from Ohio

making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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(614): making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy http://tfl.nu/o6e5

Replies (7) Good night (3029) Bad night (662)
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(904): View more from Florida

If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.

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(904): If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day. http://tfl.nu/6nok

Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (898)
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(760): View more from California

don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.

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(760): don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next. http://tfl.nu/ewyr

Replies (22) Good night (1831) Bad night (493)
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(317): View more from Indiana

What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?

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(317): What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom? http://tfl.nu/z0d3

Replies (6) Good night (217) Bad night (755)
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(212): View more from New York

VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY

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(212): VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY http://tfl.nu/jiho

Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (194)

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