Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

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  (312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face. http://tfl.nu/6ki2
  Replies (31) Good night (1115) Bad night (2003)
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  (858): View more from California

  So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?

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  (858): So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/poyg
  Replies (18) Good night (1582) Bad night (3560)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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  (310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (729)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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  (815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78
  Replies (40) Good night (12779) Bad night (1552)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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  (817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (2448)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.

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  (570): i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness. http://tfl.nu/5sus
  Replies (9) Good night (1117) Bad night (2496)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  (203): apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him http://tfl.nu/3qi4
  Replies (9) Good night (1102) Bad night (3942)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3200) Bad night (1138)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1748) Bad night (875)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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  (740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (2144)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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  (914): Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair http://tfl.nu/v5lw
  Replies (1) Good night (1770) Bad night (462)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (451)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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  (281): My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/vm7c
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (383)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings

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  (306): Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings http://tfl.nu/zw2p
  Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (327)
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  (530): View more from California

  I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.

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  (530): I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job. http://tfl.nu/g30c
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (226)

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