Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.

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  (443): Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her. http://tfl.nu/u8d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1626) Bad night (539)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
  Replies (66) Good night (817) Bad night (5205)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.

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  (601): Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back. http://tfl.nu/ihr9
  Replies (2) Good night (2214) Bad night (949)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

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  (314): Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off http://tfl.nu/sr25
  Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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  (410): YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me. http://tfl.nu/lzgg
  Replies (4) Good night (2047) Bad night (879)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (836)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

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  (904): Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel. http://tfl.nu/cy7e
  Replies (18) Good night (1300) Bad night (618)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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  (815): You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever. http://tfl.nu/5xks
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (877)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Dude you were ten when he graduated

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Wahoowaaaaaaa

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  (434): I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement (1-434): Dude you were ten when he graduated (434): Wahoowaaaaaaa http://tfl.nu/vark
  Replies (13) Good night (1334) Bad night (578)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.

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  (+64): He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic. http://tfl.nu/imyn
  Replies (9) Good night (1101) Bad night (388)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

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  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (384)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.

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  (256): Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl. http://tfl.nu/7wpk
  Replies (6) Good night (548) Bad night (406)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?

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  (571): Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together? http://tfl.nu/mj4s
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (521)
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  (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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  (212): When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones. http://tfl.nu/g2sl
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (779)
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  (510): View more from California

  Naked. naked and bneed help.

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  (510): Naked. naked and bneed help. http://tfl.nu/5da4
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (412)

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