we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.