You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Randomize
