oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize